Parenting Advice: 6 Conversations Every Parent Should Have With Their Child
Unfortunately, these 6 conversations rarely occur because parents do not understand or believe the principles discussed. Thus, having these conversations with our children is secondary to the importance of parents first believing that these principles are true and important. However, every parent must speak to their children about these topics – and do it often! These are not one-time conversations, or even topics of conversation that should happen regularly; more importantly, the principles discussed in these conversations must become the very mentality and actions of the parents, which of course will hopefully result in our children developing these very same important actions and mentality. Our children must not only hear and know these things, but also believe them and thus live accordingly.
1) Who Do You Want To Be: There is a commonly asked cultural question that each of us has heard and been asked on countless occasions; it is – ‘What do you want to be when you grow up?’ This question of course is perfectly valid and obviously important; however, it often actually replaces the much more important question we should be asking, which is – ‘Who do you want to be when you grow up?’ Our society places so much import and emphasis on the ‘what’ that we either neglect the ‘who’ or actually convince ourselves that the ‘what’ is more important than the ‘who.’ The popular baseball player, for example, is revered for his home-run hitting abilities, despite the fact that he used steroids to achieve this success. Likewise, the famous singer or actor receives not only endorsements and wealth, but unbelievable masses of followers regardless of the fact that their morals and values were discarded in order to obtain their wealth and fame.
Children must know that the ‘who’ is more important than the ‘what.’ Success in life should not be determined by the wealth we acquire, the degrees we obtain, the institutions we attend, the awards we win, the houses we live in, or the career we succeed at. True success and character is determined by ‘who’ we become – often made evident in characteristics such as: unselfishness, honesty, integrity, purity, and kindness.
2) Children Literally Can Become & Accomplish Anything: Again, the difficulty of having this important conversation with children is the fact that most parents don’t actually believe in this reality and truth themselves. And yet, truth it still is – that we literally can accomplish, become, and do anything if we truly desire, believe, and work extremely hard. Time, money, location, inheritance, or even knowledge are not the pre-requisites to success; in actuality, the formula for success is not a secret and can be achieved by anyone. Why? Because the only things required of anyone to be successful at anything are: desire, belief, commitment, faith, overcoming fears and doubts, specific goals, an organized plan, willingness to take a risk, daily action, persistence, learning from failure, and never quitting – herein lies the formula for achieving anything!
3) This Is Who We Are: What are your family rules, standards, values, or goals? What does your family stand for, or does your last name bring with it any requirement for certain behavior? If so, do your children know about these expectations and standards, strive towards them, or even accept them? Make sure you have conversations – often – with your children about who you are, what you believe, what your expectations of them are, as well as what your rules and goals are as a family.
4) Our Daily Moral Battle: Conversations about sex education, morals and standards, immodesty and appropriate behavior is unfortunately all-too-often left in the hands of school systems and text books, movies and TV shows, conversations with friends, advertisements or magazines, or even websites and chat rooms. However, these conversations must take place inside homes with parent(s) in order for them to be truly effective. Dad and/or Mom, are you talking to your kids about these important moral issues? Are you creating an environment such that when children have questions, concerns, or face decisions and peer pressure – they can and will come to you?
5) Don’t Let Our Culture Define Your Potential: We live in a society that unfortunately defines for us what success is – or should be. From our media culture, to our educational system, to our very family members and peers – we are constantly pressured to ‘live up’ to certain expectations and measurements of success. How frustrating it is when my success – and potential – is solely determined by my job title, the degrees I obtained, the school I attended, the company I worked for, the size of my bank account, the connections (or lack of) I have, the car I drive, or the career I chose, etc. Likewise, why should a high school student’s worth or popularity be determined by whether or not they are the star running back or the head cheerleader? Is the fact that you have very little time, money, or knowledge the determinant to your ability to create, have ideas, start businesses, and be successful? Our potential lies within each of us, it should be defined individually by ourselves, and never forget that it is limitless. Regardless of our education, time, money, family or connections, work experience, companies worked for or institutions attended – we literally can become and accomplish anything. The only requirement is belief, action, and persistence. This conversation is vital to have with our children – but in order for it to be effective, the parents must truly believe this!
6) Frequent Conversations: The topics listed above are important, but none are more important than this one. We must have regular conversations with our children – to just talk! The conversation does not need to be serious at all – it can be just to talk, laugh, listen, and express love. Make it a habit to take out each child, individually, at least once a month on a date – just to talk and be together. Go into their room at night and ‘just talk.’ The topic of conversation can be about anything (funny or serious) – but do it, and do it consistently.
About the Author
Matt is the founder of http://www.Tips4Families.com/ – a website full of helpful parenting advice, fun games and activities, traditions and holiday ideas, and tips and articles for families everywhere. Matt is also the author of: “Great Games! 175 Games & Activities for Families, Groups, & Children.” To view the book and learn more, visit: http://www.GreatGamesBook.com/
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